COOPERATION IS ABOUT US

I was walking around the children’s playground  in Vileyka, Belarus and suddenly a sculpture caught my eye. The sculpture comprises a whole family including a dog, a cat, a mouse and a huge turnip . That triggered off memories of how my children would ask me to read the fairy tale ‘The Enormous Turnip’. Little did I know at that time that this is a Russian fairy tale. So it all made sense why the sculpture is there.

"The Enormous Turnip" was written by Aleksey Nikolayevich Tolstoy.

It is a progressive story in which a grandfather plants a turnip, which grows so large that it takes many to pull it up - the grandfather (deduska), the grandmother (babuska), the granddaughter (vnuchca), the female-dog (zhuchka), the female-cat (koshka) and finally the female-mouse (myshka). The humour or moral of the story is that only with the help of the weakest and smallest creature (the mouse) can the giant turnip or radish (repka) be pulled up.

It is all about co-operation and that if we all work together, we can do anything.

Summer had finally arrived and with it the much awaited glorious sunshine. The whole character of the Irish society changes  as people make the most out of the great weather which can be here today and gone tomorrow.  Many will head out to the beach or engage in outdoor activities like cycling or hiking. People painting their houses or mowing the lawns is a common sight. 

Having come from a society where the individual is driven to compete to survive, I find that the community spirit over here is very strong. People here co-operate and do community work on a regular basis, even more so in summer because we can go outdoors and work in the fine weather. Co-operation in a community setting is something very new to me, where everyone contributes to a common good and in return reaps the rewards.

Martin A. Nowak, writer for Scientific American and author of “Why We Help: The Evolution of Co-operation” points out that selfless behaviour is a pervasive phenomenon. Life to Nowak is not just a struggle for survival but rather a ‘snuggle for survival.’

A case in point is the local community garden which I am part of. We grow vegetables and flowers and we meet twice a week to mind what we have planted. But the best part is members who pop by the garden other than the scheduled times will water all the beds as well. The group also organises an open day where the public would be invited to a barbeque. Each of us will bring some kind of meat or sausage or fish. For the past few years I have been showcasing Malaysian satay complete with peanut gravy, onions, cucumber slices and ketupat.

The spirit of co-operation generates several outcomes.

Firstly it is a given that we reciprocate good deeds.

I share a garden bed with a fellow gardening enthusiast. When I was away on a trip and there was fear of bad weather, she covered my plants with protective fleece. There was no danger of my crops being destroyed by frost and I came home to thriving seedlings. Likewise, when my friend is busy, I’ll help water her crops. During harvesting season, we share the produce.

Next we also have indirect reciprocity. Indirect reciprocity simply means if you build a reputation of helping others, others will help you. One example is the East Clare Co-operative Society that runs many programmes for free or for minimal payment. Such programmes range from cooking classes to hobby crafts.

Recently, the director of the co-operative invited me to teach volunteers how to do Sugan chair weaving. So we spent a number of hours on a Saturday morning putting new life into old chairs. The results were amazing. Although the participants could not bring the chairs home with them, they felt proud because they had learnt a new skill and they had contributed something to the co-operative.  Every chair that was painstakingly woven by a participant now stands proudly in the co-op cafe.

When we use the word networking we think of it as getting connected with people to get something in return, especially in career advancement. That is networking for a motive.

But when we co-operate, there is an unwritten code of support and sharing within the group. Co-operation results in networking at a different level. Everyone brings with him life’s experience and perspective. When we put that together as a group, it becomes a powerhouse of knowledge. For cooperation to work, everyone has to be an active member of the team and do what they agree to do.

I guess what I enjoy most about co-operation is that it is not about me, myself and I. It is about us and there’s a good feeling that comes with it.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA ON 25 JUNE 2017  http://digital.nstp.com.my/nst/books/nstnews/2017/20170625nstnews/index.html#/25/

A MATTER OF LUCK?

When we receive excellent news, sometimes we wonder if it is true. This was what happened to Veronique Jacquet when she heard the news on the local radio that she had won a Michelin star this year. It was highly impossible as her restaurant didn't fit the criteria of a gourmet restaurant at all.

Mrs. Jacquet runs Le Bouche à Oreille in Bourges in central France. It is a modest, lunch-only bistro with 20 tables and a clientele mostly of local workers. Even the cook works part time and Mrs. Jacquet herself is the only other member of the staff. And so it turned out to be a technical mistake as the restaurant that actually won the Michelin star is about 120 miles away in the village of Boutervilliers and has the same name.

Then there is this bizarre story of Frane Selak, a Croatian music teacher who escaped death when a train he was on fell into the lake. After that, he survived a car crash, allegedly fell out of the plane, and landed in a stack of hay, while 19 passengers tragically died.  Finally, Frane in 2003 won about €800,000 in a lottery.

There’s also this expression “the luck of the Irish” and I thought it meant that the people    from Ireland are lucky. However, according to Edward T. O’Donnell, an Associate Professor of History at Holy Cross College and author of "1001 Things Everyone Should Know About Irish American History," the term is not Irish in origin.

"During the gold and silver rush years in the second half of the 19th century, a number of the most famous and successful miners were of Irish and Irish American birth....Over time this association of the Irish with mining fortunes led to the expression 'luck of the Irish.' Of course, it carried with it a certain tone of derision, as if to say, only by sheer luck, as opposed to brains, could these fools succeed."

The Malay proverb ‘Durian Runtuh’ means a windfall. Literally it is an avalanche of durians. Even now I dream of eating the rich and creamy durian. But then again I digress.

Every so often we wish for nice things to happen : winning the lottery especially. I have seen so many hopefuls at the supermarket counter buying lottery tickets. The idea of getting big money at an affordable price is too hard to resist. Raffles are also very popular here and for 5 euro you get 3 chances of winning prizes. Usually they are done to raise funds for a club or a specific cause. You can sense the spirit of hope and expectation in the air. However, we hear of many saying  ' I never win anything' maybe because in any draw, the winners are few and the disappointed many.

There are some people who are always on a winning streak - so we say that lady luck is smiling on them. Or grudgingly we mutter beneath our breath 'some people have all the luck'

Tempting though it may be, I do not buy lotteries or gamble in the hope of striking it rich.

In fact, about 70 percent of people who win a lottery or get a big windfall actually end up broke in a few years, according to the National Endowment for Financial Education. Scary but true.

I used to enter many competitions because I enjoyed solving puzzles and coming up with creative slogans. To that end I did win many holiday trips abroad and electrical appliances. Now I've passed on that mantel to my son.

I remember once when we released a fire lantern into the sky. The host of the party asked us to scribble our hopes on the lantern. We decided on ‘Good health’ while others wrote ‘Money, money, money’.

Luck is fortune which is an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that causes an event to result in one way rather than another.

Blessing on the other hand is the formal act of approving and of divine grace. So, I attribute all that I had, have or will have to being blessed rather than being lucky. It lies in the difference in the mind set and heart where I do not leave happy events to chance. It is also an attitude of gratitude. When we know that we are blessed, then it is so easy for us to give to others.

So what happened in the end to the bistro that was told it had received the Michelin star?

When Jacquet’s cook Penelope Salmon was asked whether she ever dreamt of receiving a Michelin star, she said, ‘No, not at all. I cook with my heart.’

The last time I heard was that the lunch spot has received really good reviews on Google.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA ON 11 JUNE 2017  https://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2017/06/247685/matter-luck

LESSONS FROM WINNIE THE POOH

I am going to buy an umbrella that is windproof that is designed to be resistant to strong wind gusts. In Ireland an umbrella is a necessity because there are so many ‘blustery days’ in the words of Winnie the Pooh.

Winnie the Pooh has always been one of my favourite childhood characters. Not so much the mass produced Disney version of the orange coloured bear but the original vintage hand drawn bear.

I don’t know whether Winnie the Pooh is as famous as Mickey Mouse but the fact that he is actually 91 (his longevity must be due to the health benefits of honey, his favourite food) this year earns him some space in my article this week.

Created by A.A. Milne in 1926, he lives on the Hundred Acre Wood which in reality is a cultivated pine plantation called the Five Hundred Acre Wood, South East England. Pooh Corner in Hartfield village is home to a large selection of ‘Poohphernalia’.

His search for honey makes him an unwelcome guest to the bees or even to his friend Rabbit who fears Pooh might eat him out of house and home. He is quite a celebrity even. On Queen Elizabeth’s 90^th birthday last year, Winnie went to Buckingham palace and presented her with a song.

But he is endearing alright and most of all his philosophy of life is actually rather helpful.

No overthinking.

Rightfully so, as he is a bear of very little brain and is stuffed with fluff. Most of us tend to worry too much or analyse too much. Truth be told most of the stuff that we worry about never actually materialise in the end. Sometimes we over analyse another person’s words and get ourselves all worked up. When we finally seek clarification from the person who uttered the words, we find that they may not be what we thought they were in the first place. Unfortunately, not everyone seeks clarification and so we may go through days or even years being upset over what we thought we heard. Sounds convoluted but it is true.

No fences.

“Tigger is all right, really,” said Piglet lazily. “Of course he is,” said Christopher Robin. “Everybody is really,” said Pooh. “That’s what I think.” (The House at Pooh Corner, p. 108) There is this air of acceptance in the face of staggering differences. It has often been said that a stranger is a just a friend I haven’t met yet. Far too often we base our judgement of others through first impressions because there are so many in-built filters in our minds. These filters could be anything from experiences, opinions, prejudices and judgements.

Granted some of these first impressions are right. It is most natural that we find comfort among those who are of similar disposition and share our interests. But I have met so many that I never thought I could be great friends with because they are so very different from me. Imagine if I have not allowed myself to embrace these differences, I would have missed out on such a great friendship.

No such thing as a silly question.

One of the greatest technique to learn something new is to ask. Children are never afraid to ask. But adults generally are more reserved in that area due to embarrassment or pride perhaps. I find myself asking a lot of questions because I want to know the specific.

Sometimes the person at the other end thinks I’m an ignoramus and gets impatient with me.

Recently I signed up for a postal service called AddressPal whereby I am given a postal address in the UK for online purchases. The website was not very clear so I called up the customer service and asked for specific information. I could sense the voice on the other end of the line getting agitated by my questions.

Then there are those who give very vague answers. The plumber tells me that he’s coming after dinner to fix my leaky pipe. To me that is no help at all because I wouldn’t know what time he eats his lamb stew and spuds. So when I ask him for a possible time he feels pressured.

So, how did I end up writing about Pooh’s philosophy of life? Oh yes, it is about buying a windproof umbrella and I should get it now before the blustery day comes.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA, 21 MAY 2017.  https://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2017/05/241116/lessons-winnie-pooh

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

I've just celebrated another birthday. I was in Belarus at that time and there were no candles, no scrumptious dinner, no family members, no presents and no cake. But the heart was still in the right place because I would have already reached my full potential in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which is self-actualization. In self-actualization, a person comes to find a meaning to life that is important to them.

Hoping to make a difference to the lives of orphans and the neglected elderly I signed up as a volunteer for a week with PASHLI. "Pashli" is a Russian word meaning "Let's Go”. The aim was to improve the living conditions and expand educational and social opportunities within the target groups.

Most of us have a place to call our own. We have a home where there is a mother and a father. But not the estimated 25000 Belarusian children in state custody, according to Belarus Digest last year. These children may be orphaned or have parents who are unfit to care for them due to alcohol or drug addiction, crime or constant unemployment. In 2014, 2644 parents lost custody to 3110 children.

When we stepped into the orphanage we were warmly welcomed by a throng of children of all ages. They presented us with a Belarusian cake and speech. It was heart-breaking to see them rush forward just for a hug. We were possibly the only foreigners who cared enough to visit them in months.

It was inevitable that throughout the week, Maslow’s 5 tier pyramid of needs played on my mind constantly: basic needs (physiological and safety) psychological needs (belongingness, love and esteem) and finally self-fulfilment needs (self actualization).

Were basic needs met?

The thing that struck me at the orphanage was the lack of personal space or privacy. There was hardly a time when a child could be alone.  They were constantly surrounded by other children or adults. Even the toilets do not have doors.

When I visited the science room they were so eager to show me the class pets. There were beetles of various sizes living in a small plastic box. The interesting thing was that the children let the creepy crawlies run all over their fingers. It was the most natural thing to do . There was no aversion or squeamishness. Most of us wouldn't purposefully engage in such an activity. It made me wonder whether we modelled our fear after a significant adult.

One of the team members asked why the choice of beetles as pets rather that the more conventional house pet like the cat? The answer was obvious. Low maintenance – beetles need very little care or food. Were the orphans like the beetles themselves suffering from little care or food?

Food was pretty basic. We had potatoes, chicken, meat patties and pancakes for the week. The style of cooking was the same throughout the week.  If some of us wouldn’t want to see another potato, chicken, meat patty or pancake after the week, imagine what the children had to eat for everyday of their lives. I had less choices being a pescatarian.

The team put up new ceilings, floors and painted walls and fence. Although my forte would be around children and crafts I was roped in to put up a new ceiling and also to sandpaper the walls. Having been on visits to bunkers and pre-war buildings I was advised specifically not to touch the walls or inhale the dust because of the toxic lead content. So that was a worrying issue.

At the old folks’ home I saw how the elderly were treated. The air stank and even when I returned to my room after the visit, the smell lingered on my clothes.

Were psychological needs met?

We had a pamper night for the teenage female orphans. They were treated to girly stuff like hair wraps, comfort food, manicure and make-up. One of the team members gave a talk on the importance of self-worth and respect.

As for the elderly, there were lots of tears on the last day that we visited them. We called them Babushka (grandma) or Dedushka (grandpa). One grandma hugged me so tightly and pressed into my hands a string of plastic beads for me to keep so as not to forget her. It was one of the few possessions that she had.

Were self-fulfilment needs met?

Statistics reveal that very few who start adult living independently are success stories. Not being able to integrate well into society, they fall between the cracks and crime rates reach up to 80% for such children. Even when they become parents themselves, they end up sending their children to orphanages. This perpetuates the ‘institutional’ cycle.’

Now I am a year older and a year happier, doing the things that I like and being with the people that I love. But what about the orphans, the babushkas and the dedushkas so many miles away? I fell sick during the trip and it took me another week back in Ireland to recover after the trip. It could be an accumulation of many things: the dust, what I saw, what I felt and what I left behind.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA 7 MAY 2017  http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnists/2017/05/237023/making-difference

A GUIDE TO HELP US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION?

It's very strange but I notice things that others don’t.  I’m not talking about apparitions and other worldly beings but rather about everyday mundane things.

For example, whenever I pass a field with cows I notice that the majority of the cows would be facing a north or south direction when they are feeding and only a few will be facing somewhere else. I’ve asked around and no one seems to notice that or know the reason why.  I know that if I were a cow, I would certainly be facing somewhere else, rather than the regular direction.

But what makes these cows head a certain direction?

Many reasons have been given : herd mentality, preparation for flight in the event of an attack from a predator and maybe the grass is greener on the other side of the field.

Anyway there is a documentary that gives a highly probable reason. According to the documentary, this phenomenon is caused by the forces of magnetism. Cows seemingly sense the Earth's magnetic field and align themselves to either the north or south when grazing or resting.

German researchers made use of Google Earth images and looked down on over 8,000 cattle around the world. The researchers combined field observations with the satellite data and discovered that herds of both deer and cattle tend to align themselves with the north-south direction, regardless of the wind or the position of the sun. This is called magneto reception. The theory goes that if a herd of cattle is standing under some transmission wires, then the cattle will face every which way because the transmission wires interfere with the fields of magnetism.

"It is amazing that this ubiquitous conspicuous phenomenon apparently has remained unnoticed by herdsmen and hunters for thousands of years," write Sabine Begall, of the University of Duisberg-Essen in Germany, and colleagues in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences^.

It is not only cows but other animals that portray similar behaviour as well. Migratory birds use magnetic compass information  Baby turtles know how to head towards the sea the moment they emerge from their shells. I read about an incident where some concerned nature lovers put wire mesh over the turtle eggs to protect the eggs from seagulls.  When the eggs were hatched, the hatchlings were disoriented and did not know how to make it to the sea. Apparently, the wire mesh interfered with the field of magnetism.

I wonder whether humans can sense magnetic fields.

The present day consensus is that we don’t. I am tempted to think that those who have a higher spatial intelligence have this ability. These are the people who have no trouble remembering routes or getting out of the woods while many of us lose much valuable time running in circles.

I think it would be grand to have some sort of an inner compass – to point us to the right direction or decision - then life would be very simple. There are no doubts and no mistakes. We will be simply doing the ‘right’ thing.

The phrase ‘follow your heart’ could be like some sort of an inner compass. But experience has proven that following the heart is not full proof. Mistakes abound when the heart is involved and when reason is thrown out of the window.

And what about following one’s gut feelings or intuition?

For me, this is quite an accurate compass.  There’s a classic called ‘A woman’s intuition’ by the Wilburn brothers. The chorus goes like this: It’s a woman’s intuition that rouses her suspicion/ And you never know what goes on in her mind/It’s a woman’s intuition that tells her something’s missing/You can bet that she’ll be right most every time.

The long and short of it, humans just have to plough on. For the lack of magneto reception skills, we depend on many things: experience, success, failure, happiness, sorrow……and the list goes on to help us navigate through life.

One thing I know is that as we get older we become more affirmative. We know who we are and what we want and don’t want. The difference between youth and seniority is that we are no longer unsure and afraid to stand our ground. We have found our voice and we do not need to be people pleasers.

If only navigation through life is as simple as heading either north or south.

But then again it will not be half as interesting or challenging when compared to what tomorrow will bring.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA 23.4.2017   http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/2017/04/233121/guide-help-us-right-direction

UNIQUE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES

When I heard that Judith Kerr was at the Mountain to Sea book festival in Dún Laoghaire/Rathdown area, the name rang a bell. After all I was once a school librarian and why of course she is the author of a number of children's books. The one that stands out in my memory is ‘When Hitler stole the pink rabbit’.

I can still remember the rows and rows of the said book on the library shelf. It is strange that I didn't read them as a child, only as an adult.

When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit is a semi-autobiographical story of a young girl and her family escaping the Nazis and the journey they made. Basically it is about the experiences of childhood that remained edged in her psyche.

What are my experiences of childhood? Simple pre-internet fun that I still hold dear.

Things like the VCR player and the diskette or floppy disk are quite alien to the current generation. We played more outdoors and our friends were few but real as compared to virtual friends. Even the food we consumed was simple – I hardly heard of the terms sugar-free, gluten-free, fat-free or dairy-free.

In fact when I visited the Shannon Hydro electric dam recently, the tour guide said one young visitor was more amazed by an object on the table than the actual dam itself. The object in question was an actual telephone. He had never seen one before and thought that mobile phones have been in existence since the last century.

I miss speaking and hearing my own dialect. Other than my family members, I don’t have anyone to converse with in that dialect. There are so many ditties, proverbs and phrases peculiar in every dialect and when I recall them they are usually in my mother’s or father’s voice. It is very strange but I can remember my parents’ voices so clearly, as if it was only yesterday that I saw them last.

Even ear piercing was so different thsse days.

I remember as a child we had to wait till the goldsmith made his rounds. Then all the female children would gather in a neighbour’s house. We were excited and afraid at the same time. The grandmas present there told us it was nothing more than an ant bite. When it was my turn, I sat on a stool. The goldsmith held a gold earring that was open like a fish-hook. He rubbed some alcohol on the ear-lobe, held a thumb-size piece of ginger behind the ear and very swiftly jabbed the fish hook through. Then he pulled the ginger away and with a pair of pliers bent the straight end that had gone through the ear lobe into a curve. It felt like an ant bite alright. A big nasty ant.

Then there was this experimentation with audio equipment and photography. I bought my first Sanyo tape recorder and Kodak camera when I was 13. The tape recorder was so magical and I remember recording my own voice and then sending the cassette to my pen-pal. In those days snail mail correspondence was novel. 

The camera had wound up film inside. I had to bring the used roll to the photo studio for developing and then wait for a week to see how the photos would turn out.  Initial shots were either over exposed or under exposed. There was no instant viewing or deleting or photoshop.

I bought a handheld dymo label maker and took great pride labelling my personal possessions, even my tumbler. No one called that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

There wasn’t a week that couldn’t be enhanced by the Princess Tina magazine. A random browsing through e-bay showed that some of these are still around! I had a good collection of vinyl records as well and album covers were works of art to be admired. Even the sleeves of the records had printed lyrics. In terms of fashion, flares and platforms were the order of the day. Wide collared shirts and tie-dye t-shirts were fun too. I even had my hair done like Sandy’s in Grease.

I loved the Bazooka bubble gum, pink soft stuff that could be coaxed to become big balloons. The only fear was my mother telling me that swallowing the gum would bring about a possible death.

Then there was this must-have: macramé plant pot holder!

For every generation childhood experiences are different. I could only imagine what my parents’ childhood would have been through the stories they told me. Likewise my children would have a totally different set of childhood memories too.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PRINTED THE NEW STRAITS TIMES MALAYSIA 9 APRIL 2017  http://www.nst.com.my/news/2017/04/228616/unique-childhood-experiences